3 things I wish I knew about potty learning, by Lovevery CEO Jessica Rolph

I didn’t have a solid plan when I went through the potty training process with my three children. So I took the route many parents do—using toys and treats as rewards. I wish I had realized that this experience isn’t about “training”—it’s about learning. Using the toilet seems like a straightforward process, but it’s surprisingly complicated for a young child. They have to tune into their body’s signals, hold their pee and poop in, and then understand how to let it out at the right time. 

We now have a better path forward. The Lovevery Potty Learning Course Pack is filled with information and tools to help you and your child feel more confident. Here are three takeaways I wish I had known back then: 

1. Potty learning starts even before the diapers come off

You don’t have to start with the two-day blitz. Low-pressure games, books, and tools can help your child get used to the potty and practice some of the skills they’ll need to be successful. In the course, we call this the “Playful Preparation” phase. This first stage of potty learning can last as long as you want it to. 

2. Every child’s journey looks different

Your child may take a little longer to get started—and they’ll likely finish in their own time, too. We asked the Lovevery community of parents to tell us how long it took for their children to consistently use the potty during the day, and here’s what they said: 

• 22% took a few days
• 29% took a few weeks
• 26% took a few months
• 17% took 6 months to a year
• 6% took over a year

3. Rewards can be a solution, but it matters how you do them

Interrupting play to use the potty is hard. If I had to do it over again, I would have started with a more child-led approach, and then added in rewards if my children needed an extra boost.

Rewards can be anything from verbal acknowledgment all the way up to something your child can keep, like a toy or a book. If you decide to use them, make rewards an intentional part of a system you lay out in advance. This is a good time to use “When-then” language: “After breakfast, we’ll see if you need to pee or poop. When you sit on the potty, then we’ll blow bubbles.” 

Small, frequent, and immediate rewards are more effective for most young children than larger ones earned piece by piece. Rewards are intended to be temporary, so phase them out once your child consistently uses the potty for a few weeks.

The Potty Learning Course Pack

Whether you’re about to start potty learning or already trying, this Course Pack has the proven paths you need, plus tools to help your child tap into their intrinsic motivation and take the lead.

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Book Bundles for The Play Kits

Having the right books at the right time makes all the difference during your child’s early years. Enjoy even more stage-based books—featuring real stories and families—when you add our Book Bundles to your Play Kits Subscription.

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