What to do when you need your toddler to listen

Do you ever feel like your child is ignoring you? You say, “Your dinner is ready. Please come sit in your chair,” but they just keep playing with their blocks. In fact, they don’t even look at you. 

Like adults, children learn to tune out sounds they hear often, which can include your voice 🙃 This tuning out can be frustrating, but it serves an important purpose of helping them filter out background noise. They have an easier time focusing on a task when they aren’t distracted by a plane flying overhead or a door closing in another room. Here are some strategies to try when you need to break through:

How to encourage your 2-year-old to listen to you

Try whispering. Lowering the tone of your voice may capture your child’s interest. Try speaking in a whisper or like a squeaky mouse.

Get close. It’s easier to tune out or mishear you when you’re speaking at a distance—even just a few feet away. Get close to your child and crouch down to their eye level.

Use touch cues. Gently touch their shoulder, reach out for a hug, or ruffle their hair before you start talking. 

Do what they’re doing. For example, if your child is petting the family cat, sit next to them and pet the cat. Then say, “Tilly feels so soft today! I love petting her. Oh, it’s almost bathtime. Let’s give her a few more pats and then walk to the bathroom.”

Make it a song. Sing a silly song to a tune they may know, like “Now, it’s time to take a bath, take a bath, take a bath,” to the tune of “Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush.” Adding a little dance might make it extra interesting 😉

Learn more about the research

Gopnik, A. (2020). Childhood as a solution to explore–exploit tensions. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B, 375(1803), 20190502.

Rothbart, M. K., & Posner, M. I. (2015). The developing brain in a multitasking world. Developmental Review, 35, 42–63. 

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