Is it too early to start potty training?

There are so many opinions about when and how to move away from diapers 🙃 We did the research and talked to experts to discover the best time to start and what you can do now to ease the transition. 

In this post:

• Article: What every parent needs to know about potty training  
• Article: 3 potty training skills to work on now
• Ask & Learn: We bought a little potty for our daughter. She sat on it at first, but now she seems completely uninterested. Any advice?

What every parent needs to know about potty training  

Wouldn’t it be lovely to wake up one day and find your toddler using the potty all on their own? The reality is, making the transition from diapers to using the toilet is rarely quick and seamless.

According to Gabrielle Felman, Lovevery’s senior child development expert, your job isn’t to “train” your child but rather to teach them a brand-new way of going to the bathroom. This involves helping them understand not only their own body’s signals, but also the routines and expectations of using a toilet. Ultimately, your toddler is the only one who can control their own bodily functions. Most children don’t develop all the skills they need for true potty independence until age 3 or after. 

5 things to know about teaching your toddler to use the potty

1. There are many ways to potty train. Some potty training approaches are quick and dirty—a 3-day boot camp with a lot of hands-on parent intervention and no shortage of accidents. Other approaches are more gradual—a slow introduction that involves occasionally using the potty until they seem ready to use it all day. You can pick and choose the strategies that you think will work best for your child and family. 

2. What you say makes a difference. Stick with matter-of-fact descriptions to help your toddler feel comfortable with anything related to pooping and peeing: “Your diaper is wet and poopy right now. Let’s get a clean diaper on you.” Avoid making faces or using words like “yucky,” even in a joking way. Likewise, try calling potty mishaps “misses” instead of “accidents.” “Accident” implies that something bad happened. Not making it to the potty on time is just a normal thing that happens as part of the learning process. 

3. Introducing the concept early may lower the stress. Your toddler may not reach toileting independence any sooner with a slow, low-pressure approach, but it may make the process less stressful for both of you. You can start introducing the idea of the potty as early as you’d like. Research shows most toddlers aren’t ready for more structured guidance—like sitting on the potty at certain times of the day or going without diapers for longer periods—until at least age 2.

4. Timing matters. Consider holding off on a more structured potty learning program if your toddler is in the middle of another big transition. Welcoming a new baby to the family, starting childcare, weaning from breast- or bottle feeding, losing the pacifier, and moving from the crib to a bed are each enough to handle on their own. Children who are already using the potty regularly are likely to have more potty “misses” during these times of transition. 

5. Nighttime and daytime potty learning are different. Staying dry at night is all about physiology.  A child needs to feel the sensation strongly enough to wake up, or they need to have enough bladder control to hold in pee for a long period of time. Your child may become a pro at daytime toileting but need a few more years with diapers at night and during naps. Most children stay dry through the night somewhere between the ages of 3 and 7. 

Months before the diapers come off, experts recommend working on some key potty training skills. 

3 potty training skills to work on now

Many parents kick off potty training by removing their child’s diaper and hoping for the best 😉 But months before the diaper comes off, you can begin to prepare your toddler for what’s ahead. 

A 2020 study of 270 toddlers found three key signs that predicted toileting success: 

1. Expressing awareness of the need to pee or poop
2. Showing pride in doing things independently 
3. Pulling their pants down and up on their own.

While your child likely isn’t doing all these things yet, now is a great time to help them start building the essential skills.

3 ways to prepare your toddler to use a potty

1. Introduce potty words

Whenever you change your toddler’s diaper or go to the bathroom yourself, use matter-of-fact words, like “pee” and “poop” or “urine” and “b.m.” Over time, your child will start to connect these words to what they feel in their body. 

2. Encourage independence

Look for ways to build your child’s confidence and interest in doing things on their own. Try giving them simple household tasks, like watering houseplants with a cup of water or putting away a few of their playthings. Move their shirts or socks to reachable drawers, so they can pick their own clothes. 

3. Practice undressing

Your toddler isn’t able to pull down their pants on their own quite yet, but you can encourage them to learn with your help. Dressing them in elastic-waist pants or leggings will make it a lot easier. It may be several months before they can pull down their own pants and even longer before they have the strength and coordination to pull their pants back up. 

What parents are asking our experts…

“We bought a little potty for our daughter. She sat on it at first, but now she seems completely uninterested. Any advice?”

Answer:

It’s common for toddlers to lose interest in using the potty, even after showing initial enthusiasm and signs of readiness. As a parent, it can be frustrating to feel like your efforts aren’t paying off.
You may find it helpful to think about the process as potty “learning” instead of “training.” The more pressure she feels to use the potty, the harder it will be to make the transition.
Here are some ways you can support potty learning right now:

• Keep the little potty and a potty seat in the bathroom. That way, if your daughter is interested in sitting on it, it’s there for her. 
• Incorporate a potty time into her daily routine. Right before a bath is a convenient time, because your child is already naked. 
• Switch to changing diapers in the bathroom while she’s standing. Moving diapering essentials to the bathroom will help change her mindset about where she goes to deal with poop and pee.
• Notice her body language, and narrate what you see happening. For instance, if your daughter has started to hide when she’s pooping in her diaper, you could say, “I notice that you like privacy when you poop.” 

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Learn more about the research:

Brazelton, T. B., Christophersen, E. R., Frauman, A. C., Gorski, P. A., Poole, J. M., Stadtler, A. C., & Wright, C. L. (1999). Instruction, timeliness, and medical influences affecting toilet training. Pediatrics, 103(Supplement_3), 1353-1358.

​​Butler, R. J., & Heron, J. (2008). The prevalence of infrequent bedwetting and nocturnal enuresis in childhood: a large British cohort. Scandinavian Journal of Urology and Nephrology, 42(3), 257-264.

Vermandel, A., Van Kampen, M., Van Gorp, C., & Wyndaele, J. J. (2008). How to toilet train healthy children? A review of the literature. Neurourology and Urodynamics, 27(3), 162-166.

Wyndaele, J. J., Kaerts, N., Wyndaele, M., & Vermandel, A. (2020). Development Signs in Healthy Toddlers in Different Stages of Toilet Training: Can They Help Define Readiness and Probability of Success?. Global Pediatric Health, 7, 1-6.

Wyndaele, J. J., Kaerts, N., Wyndaele, M., & Vermandel, A. (2020). Development signs in healthy toddlers in different stages of toilet training: can they help define readiness and probability of success? Global Pediatric Health, 7, 2333794X20951086.