Starting to talk about the potty

Your child may not be ready to use the potty quite yet, but introducing the idea now could make the transition from diapers a little easier. Talking matter-of-factly about poop and pee and changing diapers in the bathroom are two ways to get started.

In this post:

• Article: When is the best time to start potty learning? 
• Article: Take a step toward toileting with standing diaper changes 
• Ask & Learn: I hear about all different methods of potty training. How do I know which to choose? And, is 16 months too early to start?

Your child’s age alone will not tell you if they’re ready to use the potty.

When is the best time to start potty learning? 

Knowing when to start the process of potty learning can be tricky—and there’s no shortage of opinions on the subject 🙃 Ultimately, the best timing depends on your child and your family.

Does age make a difference?

The research on potty training has a lot of mixed findings, but one thing is clear: There’s no perfect age to start. Just like learning to walk or talk, learning how to use the toilet requires a whole range of skills. That’s why your toddler’s age alone won’t tell you much about their readiness.

Many families wait until age 2 or later to begin the process in earnest, which might mean ditching the diaper entirely or trying to sit on the potty a few times each day. In any case, gently introducing the concept now could help your toddler ease into the idea. Start with a few simple changes—like changing diapers in the bathroom, flushing poop from the diaper in the toilet together, and washing hands at the sink—to build good potty habits, while boosting your toddler’s awareness of bodily functions and normalizing the use of the toilet.

How will you know when your toddler is ready to use a potty?

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends watching your child for signs that they’re physically, mentally, and emotionally prepared to use a potty. Of course, those signs may be difficult to spot and can differ from child to child. Most children start displaying these cues between 18 and 36 months, but there’s a big range and no reason to be concerned if your toddler isn’t showing signs of readiness yet.

Your toddler may be ready to start learning if they do a few of the following:

• Hides or wants privacy when peeing or pooping 
• Regularly goes 2 hours or more without a wet diaper
• Alerts you to a soiled diaper and wants to be changed right away
• Shows interest when you go to the bathroom and flush the toilet
• Has some of the physical skills they need to use a toilet, which include walking, pulling their pants up and down, and getting on and off the potty with some support

If your toddler is showing some of these signs, a good way to start is by incorporating a few low-key times during the day to sit on the potty, like after breakfast and after a nap. 

What if you aren’t ready?

Timing is everything when it comes to potty learning, and your child’s readiness isn’t the only factor. Consider other big transitions happening with your family. If you just had another baby or are in the middle of a big move, you may want to delay until you have more time and energy for it.

Take a step toward toileting with standing diaper changes 

If your toddler resists lying down to have their diaper changed, sometimes the easiest option is to do it standing up 😉 Stand-up diaper changes can give your toddler a sense of control and agency, which may encourage cooperation. If you do them in the bathroom, stand-up diaper changes can also help your child start to associate peeing and pooping with using a toilet. 

How to prepare your space ahead of time

• Store diapers and wipes within easy reach of your standing diaper change spot.
• Provide your toddler with a stable place to balance. They can hold onto the edge of a bathtub or the toilet with the lid closed. A pull-up bar mounted on the wall is also a good option.
• Consider putting a potty seat nearby and offer your toddler the chance to sit on it before putting on a clean diaper. Even if they aren’t interested, this small addition can help your toddler start to get comfortable with potty learning.

A standing diaper change in 4 steps

1. Involve them in the process. For example, you can ask them to pull wipes from the container and choose their next diaper.

2. Talk them through what’s happening, using simple, matter-of-fact words. “Your diaper is wet; it’s time to change it. I’m going to pull down your pants now.” Telling your toddler what you’re doing conveys respect. When they can stand and squat competently, you can offer, “Do you want to pull down your pants together?” 

3. Show your toddler how to squat—spreading their feet apart and lowering their bottom toward the ground—so you can wipe their bottom. Help them lift one leg or bend forward if a more thorough cleaning is needed. You can also reserve standing diaper changes just for pee. 

4. Wash your hands together to complete the process.

What parents are asking our experts…

“I hear about all different methods of potty training. How do I know which to choose? And, is 16 months too early to start?”

Answer:

Sixteen months is on the early side to start traditional potty training, which tends to focus on saying goodbye to diapers as soon as possible. But, if you’re taking a potty learning approach, you can begin to incorporate this slow introduction to the concept into everyday life now. You can, for instance, put a child-size potty seat and/or floor potty chair in the bathroom. If your toddler shows interest and wants to sit, you can start involving them in the process. You can also switch to standing diaper changes in the bathroom, if you haven’t already. Put your child’s solid poop in the toilet and let them help flush. As you wash your hands after a diaper change, encourage your toddler to wash theirs, too, to initiate bathroom hygiene habits. As your child approaches 2 years old, you can begin to incorporate sitting on the potty as part of their daily routine.

Answered by:

Keep Exploring:

• How your toddler learns boundaries
• Helping your child develop good coping skills
• Tips for taming your toddler’s tantrums

Learn more about the research

Brazelton, T. B., Christophersen, E. R., Frauman, A. C., Gorski, P. A., Poole, J. M., Stadtler, A. C., & Wright, C. L. (1999). Instruction, timeliness, and medical influences affecting toilet training. Pediatrics, 103(Supplement_3), 1353-1358.

Hodges, S. J., Richards, K. A., Gorbachinsky, I., & Krane, L. S. (2014). The association of age of toilet training and dysfunctional voiding. Research and Reports in Urology, 6, 127.

Kaerts, N., Van Hal, G., Vermandel, A., & Wyndaele, J. J. (2012). Readiness signs used to define the proper moment to start toilet training: a review of the literature. Neurourology and Urodynamics, 31(4), 437-440.